Zoe

In instances of nice hardship and generally struggling we discover out those that will stick by you thru thick and skinny, good instances and dangerous, the buddies that can all the time be there it doesn’t matter what. These friendships can come out of no the place. I don’t know after we grew to become buddies however we did, it was such a particular friendship.
Zoe had most cancers, one thing she lived with for 11 years. After going into remission after which relapsing, she was lastly advised that therapy was not working and it was energetic. Over time Zoe continued doing what she liked, taking care of her boys, taking part in golf, e book group, standing on the aspect of a rugby pitch encouraging her boys, and a part of so many  committees the place she voluntarily gave up her time to assist others.
We met at my youngest brothers faculty. Her center son was in the identical 12 months and one in every of my brothers and her youngest son was the 12 months under my youngest brother however they have been each performed the bagpipes and performed within the band collectively and at a number of competitions. Supporting my brother at piping occasions after which at Britains Received Expertise the place the boys together with others shaped the PipeBandits, I obtained to know Zoe higher. You’ll by no means have recognized she was unwell.
Being very non-public, Zoe by no means made an enormous deal about feeing unwell. There was solely twice the place I ever noticed a flicker of doubt in Zoe and frustration she felt about having most cancers. When the most cancers got here again and effected her extra unable to drive this didnt cease her. We’d have common afternoon tea’s at varied totally different locations however a favorite was Mimi’s Bakehouse down in Leith. We liked going there with my mum, usually boring her with chat about golf- we each have an equal love of the sport. I used to be all the time in awe of Zoe as regardless of all the things she continued to play golf and performed this 12 months together with her household.
When the most cancers progressed and Zoe was not going to get well I used to be in hospital and unable to go to her. Mum thought she might take me out and we might see her however the hospital didnt let me. As quickly as I used to be discharged we went spherical to see her and her husband and boys. A downstairs room was superbly organized together with her mattress overlooking the backyard and a chair both aspect so she wouldn’t be alone. I felt so privileged to be invited spherical to take a seat with Zoe, have a juice and a chat, though she couldn’t reply again and I’m certain would usually be correcting issues I couldn’t keep in mind or laughing on the tales of what my youngest brother was as much as.
The care and a focus given to Zoe by her household was wonderful. They’re all a credit score to her and needs to be pleased with how they’ve grown into the boys they’ve. Listening to that Zoe died was devastating but additionally peaceable as a result of she was not struggling. Though she by no means voiced that she suffered I’m certain she did at instances and had her moments when it was all an excessive amount of however to me the way in which she dealt together with her well being and our friendship she taught me a lot.
I obtained an e mail from her husband asking for some phrases I’d use to explain Zoe and tales I’d need to share. This was to assist together with her eulogy. I wrote the next:
We had a friendship on many various ranges, one bond was having a power sickness that was so distinguished in our lives however each wanting it to so badly not be there.  I must say cussed and robust willed spring to thoughts, Zoe for certain was not going to cease doing what she liked, and I do keep in mind after I was actually down about not with the ability to play golf she inspired me to try to maintain taking part in as a result of there’s all the time a means round it, if strolling around the course was an excessive amount of I shouldn’t be ashamed of utilizing a buggy. I all the time felt Zoe knew what to say and when nothing wanted to be mentioned however companionable silence. Different phrases that come to thoughts could be loyal, compassionate, and simply somebody who is very easy to be round.
Attending Zoe’s funeral was one of many hardest issues I’ve achieved. Far harder that any others I’ve been to. I knew it will be laborious however I used to be fully overwhelmed by it. The truth that the church was full and there have been greater than 100 folks standing exterior who couldn’t get into the church says all of it.  The service was lovely and listening to her youngest son play the pipes in entrance of his Mum’s coffin in entrance of a packed church was so emotional. Zoe was so understated and by no means needed a fuss, however seeing the sheer variety of folks from all facets of her life come to have fun her life have to be such a consolation to her household as she is liked by so many.
I had thought I had my feelings collectively about Zoe dying and was ready for a troublesome day nonetheless through the eulogy there was an extract of one thing I wrote about Zoe learn out verbatim to all of the church. Fortunately I used to be not named however those that know me would have recognized it was my phrases and people round me would know as I burst into tears and was comforted by my little brother. The phrases I wrote have been so true and precisely I believe how Zoe seen life and the way she modified my ideas on life. That is what was mentioned:
It could be really easy to write down inspirational, and phrases of these ilk however Zoe wouldn’t thank me for that as I keep in mind a dialog after I used to be on the Healthcare Heroes e book launch the place we have been discussing it as many individuals had mentioned I used to be a warrior and inspirational for being in it and many others however I used to be of the opinion I’d nonetheless do what I do and simply due to sickness it doesn’t make it any extra particular. Zoe mentioned to me that you simply make your life from what you might be dealt, in the event you don’t get on with life then life goes by so dwelling life with sickness just isn’t inspirational or something you simply do what you need to in any other case you’ll be the one to endure and life passes you by (Im undecided I’ve worded that proper). However I assume in a nutshell to me Zoe seen sickness as one thing she had and if she stopped life for it then what’s the level in preventing it. Zoe actually modified my view on life and dealing with the garbage that lands on you which ones I’m so grateful for.
Zoe can have left an enormous in gap in so many individuals’s lives however she has a beautiful household who will maintain her reminiscence alive, sharing tales, recollections, issues she knew and perhaps didnt learn about antics of her sons. Zoe had a profound affect on my life and my view of sickness and really feel so lucky to have had the pleasure of with the ability to say Zoe is one in every of my buddies. I need to say an enormous due to her household for the time they gave me together with her and sitting together with her in her final weeks.
Zoe you might be one in one million and I want I had advised you the way particular you might be. I will probably be down to go to you as you look over the ocean out to Fife, alongside the coast to Gullane and naturally mendacity beside the golf course watching the golfers do battle.
Dum spiro spero- Whereas I breathe, I hope

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